Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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