last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
