who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
