You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize