ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
can u get pink eye on your cock?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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