he shaved USA in his pubs
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
