I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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