He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
