I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
