Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
