Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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