I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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