Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I love having hate sex.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
