Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
