Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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