so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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