But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
