So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
