oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
