fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my being single is dangerous.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
