Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
