I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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