When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
