WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
