Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
