people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
