He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
