I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
