the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
