On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
