Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
