Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I want to be your penis for a week.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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