my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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