YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
