Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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