This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
