clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she pinky promised me she was 18
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
