i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
