My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i need some magic done to my vagina
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
