We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
