Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize