Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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