OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
love makes seman taste better
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
