You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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