You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
