I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
