Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize