I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
