Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
