I just saw a hot homeless man
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
