so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am spending my child support on dildos
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
