Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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