I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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