VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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