How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
where are you?
Hypothermia
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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