too bad you live with your parents still
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
