Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
