It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Ketchup is God's man juice
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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