So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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