I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
