so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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