what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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